May 11th 2014
Bring on the pain and embarrassment is what I should say because I have the lung capacity of a flea and I run like a penguin. In my mind I think I’m looking pretty good but in reality I run badly. I get shin splints, I gasp for breath, my arms flail around me like a funky chicken and I swear I see my life flashing before my eyes – probably due to a lack of oxygen reaching my brain. At the 1k mark I usually leave a lung somewhere behind me on the path.
I want to run and not just to the sale rack at Holt’s.
I needed a goal hence the 10k Sporting Life run happening on May 11 2014. I figure if I can’t do 1k then 5k or 10k would have the same level of work involved.
I registered and paid my 50 bucks and if I could reach my own ass I’d kick myself. I have just over two months to train! The only silver lining in my sad tale is that my BFF is also doing the run so I will have someone there to call 911 for me.
This is all part of my master plan however to get in better shape. More on this to come.
I recently found myself at a bridal boutique North of Toronto with my daughter for a dress fitting – she’s a junior bridesmaid at 10 (ugh and going on 20). Anyway whilst I was cooling my heels waiting for the bride to show up I got lost in this forest of gowns; dupioni silks, ruffles, feathers and glitter. Racks and racks of the gaudiest collections I’ve ever seen – it was awesome! What girl doesn’t dream of playing dress up.
Here was my chance and I certainly wasn’t about to pass on the opportunity. Soon the change room (well more of a closet really) became home to an array of creations from mini dresses to ball gowns.
I went in thinking of Sofia Vergara. I came out looking like Dame Edna.
Eventually I had 3 salespeople gathered around me tucking, folding and propping my ‘parts’ into various configurations. Then catching a glimpse of the seamstress heading my way – I had to put an end to the debacle. I mumbled something about having to make an important call and escaped back into the closet to change.
Note to self: ’self the next time you see silk, feathers and glitter – look away!’